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True Blood Season 5 Episode 2 Despite the UK weather desperately trying to convince us otherwise, summer is once again upon us, which, for those of us with a penchant for fangs, shifters and weres means it’s time for our annual trip to the deep south. Rejoice brothers and sisters, for the one True Blood has returned...

About bloody time. The last nine months have dragged on endlessly, and given the ongoing misery that is British weather, the timing couldn’t have been better. Is there a more perfect way to spend a rainy morning/afternoon/eternity than in the company of Sookie, Eric, Laf et al? Unlikely. At least, not in a televisual sense. Anyhoo, having waited nine long months for our next dose of True Blood, Turn, Turn, Turn did not disappoint.

As always with their season openers, the show wasted a total of zero time, dropping us straight into the action. Fast-paced and packed full of teasers and questions, season five’s premiere once again set the bar, not only for season beginnings, but hopefully, for the rest of the series. Five minutes in and Tara was already well on her way to being a vampire, and Eric and Bill had felt the long arm of the Authority, and they were the episode’s least surprising events True Blood Season 5 Episode 2.

Let’s start with newly gay vampire-American, the no longer Reverend Steve Newlin declaring himself to a naked Jason shall we? First off: no way he was turned as a punishment – whatever the reason the Rev was made, it can only mean trouble for the Stackhouses. Secondly: poor, poor Jason. The boy just doesn’t have any luck – apparently being pretty and ridiculously stupid can have very dangerous consequences in the southern states, which, given his history should really be something he’s worked out. Although, it’s True Blood Season 5 Episode 2 more than possible he’s starting to – which leads to one of the other surprises of the episode. He might be dumb as a box of hair, but damn if he isn’t turning into the sweetest idiot in the village. As far as we’ve been led to believe, Jason Stackhouse has never said no to sex in his life; it’s just possible that Jason has finally discovered his conscience. Having said that, it’s also just possible that sleeping with your best friend’s girlfriend, losing your best friend and then said girlfriend, and then having a man who tried to kill you tell you he loves you could put even the most womanising of womanisers off sex...

Perhaps the juiciest surprise from the season opener is the likelihood that there will be more than one big bad this year. Clearly, the Authority are dangerous – for the time being at least, but then there’s Marcus’ terrifying mother, Terry’s weird Iraqi-fire curse and Jesus’ corpse mysteriously walking away having cleaned up after himself... And that’s before we even consider the crispy bag of megalomania that is ex-King Russell, once again on the loose and no doubt after the same vampires the Authority are now in possession of. With so many general threats, as well as the inevitable consequences of the vamping of Tara and Debbie’s head removal via buckshot, it’s going to be an interesting, complex season.

True Blood Season 5 Episode 2 Most interesting of all - so far - from a character perspective is the newly formed Team Eric and Bill. With Eric back to his old fantastic self, this bromance can really get going – it has tons of hilarious vampire potential, so fingers crossed it lasts as long as possible. On a related subject, we can’t not mention the almost-incest angle. This could well turn out to be something quite interesting – Nora is high up in the Authority, and as that’s going to be big this season, she could well be our in – let’s not forget, technically, they’re not actually related. It could however, just as easily have been a suitably outrageous excuse to get the Skarsgard naked. That’s not a complaint, now – naked Skarsgard is naked Skarsgard – but surely we’re past excuses at this point? Let’s give it the benefit of the doubt for now – it’s about time we saw some more of the Authority, and anything that gets us there is just fine.

With Game of Thrones ending it’s second season HBO happily moves onto a TV show that looks at hard hitting, real-world issues…That’s right! Vampires! True Blood is one of my favorite incarnations of vampires as it’s nowhere near as fluffy and sparkly as Twilight nor is it the overly metro/bi/homo/hetro-sexual vampires of Anne Rice. True Blood falls somewhere in the middle and throws in a crap load of other supernatural elements to support it’s ever growing cast of characters.

True Blood Season 5 Episode 2 With HBO (and now AMC) specializing in the 10 – 13 episode story arc it feels like an eternity between seasons but True Blood finally returned to us in all it’s blood and gore covered, naked, fangy, werewolf growling, shape shifting, glory with the premiere episode of season 5: Turn! Turn! Turn!

Now is a good time to insert my blanket ‘SPOILER ALERT’ statement so I only have to write it once. All True Blood reviews and recaps from here on out will include vast quantities of spoilers. If you’re not okay with that then suck it! (vampire humor, not a sexual reference) True Blood Season 5 Episode 2

Old vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) and older vampire Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) join forces after getting dumped by Sookie (Anna Paquin) and are captured by the Vampire Authority. They quickly escape and after a fair amount of bare ass sexual thrusting by Alexander Skarsgard (my wife was overjoyed and kept meowing at the TV) are again recaptured along with Eric’s vampire ‘sister’ (Lucy Griffiths).

True Blood Season 5 Episode 2 To my utmost delight Tara (Rutina Wesley) was shot in the head at the end of season 4. In my opinion her character had run it’s course by season 2 and even making her a cage fighting lesbian in the last season did absolutely nothing to make her more interesting. Sadly Pam (Kristen Bauer van Straten) shows up as Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and Sookie are mourning over her death and begrudgingly agrees to try turning Tara into a vampire. She gets buried along with Pam during the ‘changing’ process and the cliffhanger of the episode rested firmly on her waking up and attacking Sookie (which, let’s face it, is nothing new). Here’s hoping this makes Tara more interesting but I won’t hold my breath.


Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten) finds the ever flamboyant and preppy Reverend Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) at his front door and proceeds to get himself into trouble...again. Apparently the once devout leader of the anti-vampire cult now has his own True Blood Season 5 Episode 2 set of fangs and really wants to plant them on Jason, but in a loving sort of way. Jason is saved again by Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and their infatuation, or lack thereof (it’s hard to tell), continues later in the episode through an awkward game of Rock Band. Which begs the question: Do people still play Rock Band?

Every season of True Blood (except maybe the first) has a wealth of storylines that don’t go anywhere or seem needless and focus on characters that we don’t care about. This season it looks like shape shifter Sam (Sam Trammell) will be continuing the not-so-interesting story arc based around his involvement in the death of the local werewolf pack leader. While Alcide Herveaux (Joe Manganiello) shows up at the end to make it a little more interesting and we find out that werewolves are cannibals it still doesn’t salvage True Blood Season Season 5 Episode 2 Sam’s increasingly boring character. Other boring storylines include Andy Bellefleur (Chris Bauer) getting caught with his pants down and, in an unrelated incident, taking bribes from a local judge and whatever the hell is going on with Arlene and Terry. Sure it was fun when we thought they had a demon baby but now it’s just getting silly. There’s something dark in Terry’s past, yada, yada, yada. Let’s move on. True Blood Season 5 Episode 2